THE GIRL WILL SCREW YOU

the girl will screw you 2005 RA4 photograms/masking tape/dressmakers pins/single channel video loop/televisions

i sat all night alone in my apartment. i could hear millions of lives buzzing out their frenetic aimlessness below. i strained towards the energies of my fellows, my community. i felt not a whit of connection to them, to any of them. i felt like major tom, adrift in space and watching as the small spinning pea that was earth receded at an alarming rate. i longed for a heartbeat for another steady rhythm of inhale/exhale to echo my own. no breath answered. i waited by the telephone. i waited by the window. my soulmate did not call, did not appear. the city was my nemesis. the city had shrouded me in an anonymity so dense i could not begin to disrobe it. i repeated futile gestures, endless routines, ultimately arriving nowhere. because i was broken. because it is the 21st century. because we cannot commit. because even if i had you, i would screw you. because i am infected by this ratheap. and i can't remember my own name.